The Grief Handbook

Author: Bridget McNulty
Publisher: Watkins Media
Reviewer: Beryl Eichenberger
‘One day at a time’ is the inscription in my copy of ‘The Grief Handbook’ by Bridget McNulty, never more apt in this grieving world that we have been plunged into. But 

this is an intensely personal and empathetic guide for anyone who has lost a loved one at any time. COVID has meant there are very few who have not suffered devastating loss in some form or another. How does one deal with this? Put on a brave face and go about your business? Curl up in a corner and isolate yourself as you cry yourself out? Each individual will handle grief differently and it is this that makes McNulty’s book so important. It is a guide through the worst days of your life. And one that’ will take you by the hand and offer empathy and compassion’.
Grief is a mixture of emotions – a process - for McNulty the book came about as she struggled to come to terms with the sudden loss of her mother. With two small children, a husband, grieving father and siblings the person who had been at the pivot of their lives was gone leaving a huge void. For McNulty the support she needed just didn’t seem to be there and she was confronted with emotions and loneliness that seemed to be insurmountable.
Coping seemed to be almost impossible but we do cope during the very worst times of our lives: ‘We keep breathing. We keep eating. We keep sleeping. We keep walking, one step at a time, in the hope that one day we will emerge from the worst thing. ‘
And it is this journey that the handbook takes you on. Acknowledging we are all unique and that there are no rules for grief – we will each find our way through it in our own time – McNulty gives practical advice,  from personal experience and psychological insights.  She brings in quotes from writers who too, have made this journey. As she traces the path of her own grief and how she devised ways of coping this little book has developed into a beautifully interactive volume that understands, suggests but never insists. Activities to distract, rituals and safe spaces where you can let it all out; and all the time there is the gentle support of her helping hand. As a writer and journalist writing was obviously a salve but you don’t need to be a writer to just put on paper how you are feeling – journaling has a cleansing effect. There is the physicality to be dealt with, the fear of breaking down in public, whatever it is you feel or do is totally normal. ‘You do grief the way that works for you.’
As a reader I was reminded of my own personal losses down the years and how I wish I had had this handbook to help me on my way. ‘The Grief Handbook’ resonated deeply and will do to so many. Thank you for being there in the midst of your own loss.